12 September 2015

Celebrating My Destiny

Today, I have suddenly thought of one thing. My destiny.

Through out all these 3 years. I have kept pushing myself to the limit. I gamble my life, putting risk just to challenge myself. I understand some haters tend to put me down but I will always be a lover. Will always celebrate people the way they are. Now, I began to wonder.

Life is beautiful in so many ways. I'm sure we all have felt how its like to be wanted, to desire, to be hated and to hate. Somehow, I would like to settle down. Parents tell me to slow down and I will. Bit by bit, I started to push all the bad things that I have done and been through.  

Yes, we might feel like we were fooled. Being an optional toy is truly undesired feelings. But that what had somehow incline my maturity level. Without my conscious. Because we can somehow gain only some of what we want. 

To admire is not easy when you can't even have it. But I will keep on dreaming. This is what made me who I am today. Miserable life made me to have a better decisions. Yes, I have managed to get away with it. 

When I started to wonder what life will bring me, i began questioning. But I have no answer to it. Don't ask me where am I heading to. I will be there when fate say it is my path. I will just do whatever it is to survive. Bleeding is never an option for me and I hate when it happens.

I learned to let go. Forced myself to understand that fate is to be accepted. I might have slipped out of my way and yes, I regretted it for the whole life. Damaged has been done. Lesson been taught. 

I have lost so many souls around me. I got nothing other than the walking zombie in me. I am only human when I am with whom I trust, whom I called family and best friends. The only thing that I treasure is the honesty in relationship. 

Don't ever ask me how's my life is as I will always say it is beautiful to celebrate my life. 

Don't ever ask me what my future is going to bring me. It is always full of surprises. 

Don't ever ask me why I turned my back on you one day as I won't say anything. How can you answer to the pain of knowing someone to know that they have never ever wanted to know you? 

Life is to celebrate. 

13 May 2015

What is life?

It was this evening when I laid back after a harmful day. Thug life. Feeling stressed out, I feel like expressing thoughts and feelings to whom I trusted. I glanced through my phone. Seeking for any contacts that is possible to find. 1st contact? Nope. This people is busy minding his own business. 2nd contact? No as well. This person hates me for no reason. 3rd person? I dont believe in him.  I swiped my phone up and down. Nothing was found. 

Then I realized. I have nobody except for my phones which links me to various random people who fakes the bonding. Just wanting to be liked and to gain popularity. Celebrities who live in social medium. Such ashamed.

People is loosing touch. Loosing the real meaning of trying their best to understand the situation they are going through. Loosing the endurance towards harsh life. Which made me think of our generation's competitivenes level. The survivor rate must have gone down.

People wrecklessly post whatever they want to tell the world. Virals, bashing, spy cam and even the feelings are expressed in those devilish medium. We are possessed by the technologies which make us weak people. 

I miss the sincerity that I had when we were just kids. When we tell people what we feel sincereley. When we be friend with people for no self interest reason.

I have done with all these but yet, this is the real life. Its real thug. 

I have no real people around me.